Written by Chakameh Shafii

I had never experienced anything like it, a feeling in my gut and a loud thought in my head that would not stop. My anxiety came with insomnia, lots of crying and nausea, yet I had to get up every morning and go to work. The days that I looked like a walking zombie, my co-workers would ask if I was sick but I couldn’t explain the reason for my headaches, restless eyes and lack of energy. People close to me were used to a girl who made jokes and always smiled and all they saw now was a weak girl who had lost all her energy. I was scared to think that the people who had seen this vulnerable side of me would get tired of my negativity; my parents, my best friend or my boyfriend. I heard one time someone say that people become immune to your tears and stop feeling sorry. It really hurt at the time but I can see how someone who hasn’t experienced anxiety could judge me like that.

Anxiety consumes you and alters every little aspect of your life. It’s not a weakness; I am not a weak person by any definition but there was a time in my life I could not explain my fears. It took a while from the time I decided I needed help to the point I started treatment and that’s one of the frustrating things about the mental health system in Canada. I started a therapy process called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). I had heard different stories of people who had gone through therapy, some were happy and some said it didn’t help them, but I was determined to get out of my head and get back to the old me. I should mention I never needed to take medication and therapy was sufficient for my level of anxiety.

The effectiveness of therapy depends on your commitment to getting better. I started getting results very early on. I think the first month of therapy I had 2 sessions a week but then we reduced it to once a week and eventually once every 3 weeks till the therapy process was over. I’m not saying therapy is for everyone or it will replace medication for some people, but it’s definitely a way to get better.

It’s hard to cheer up when you are in that low point of your life but if you are experiencing anxiety try these three things :

1. Breathing exercises : This can help you calm down when you’re feeling anxious and are close to panic.
2. Accepting your situation : Accept the fact you have anxiety, or depression or any other illness, and you are working on getting better. That’s all that matters. Just like if you had a cold, as long as you work on getting better, you will start to feel better.
3. Seeking help : This is the most important part. You can’t and shouldn’t have to do this on your own. Talk to your family doctor, find a therapist or a professionally-led peer group in your community. You would never try to get better from a serious physical problem without medical attention, a mental illness is similar.

You are not alone, remember that! I have had situations that should have led to many more anxious episodes after my therapy but using the skills I learned through CBT, I’ve been able to manage my emotions and thoughts. I now have the skills I need to face my fears and live my life to the fullest.

Image credit: Scott Cresswell

Chakameh Shafii is an Engineering graduate from University of Toronto.